A Love Letter to a Rock (A Valentine’s Day Fantasy)

Influence can be Expressive, where you use behaviors to express your needs, or Receptive, where you use behaviors that lead to receiving information. Choosing to use either behavior is based on a goal that you want to achieve, the quality of your relationship with the other, and the context surrounding the influence opportunity.

This love letter to a rock is an example of using Receptive influence behaviors where the goal is to influence the rock to share its feeling with you.

Read it, and write back to the rock using Receptive influence behaviors.

Happy practicing, and Happy Valentines Day!

Dear Rock,

(Using the behavior Disclose: Offer information about yourself that is relevant and that costs you something to acknowledge):

I have to admit, I have been watching you from the window of this cafe for about three years now. I’m feeling funny about writing you this letter because, well, you’re a rock.

(Using the behavior Identify with the Other: State empathetically how the other’s situation could be affecting her or him):

However, I decided to write it anyway because I may understand you more than you would expect. If I were you, I would feel stuck and frustrated. I would sense that people walk past me and don’t even know I exist.

(Using the behavior Disclose again)

I have to admit, that’s how I often feel. Each day, I come here to write my novel. Sometimes I sit at this table for hours, and it feels like I’m the only being on the planet. Writing can be very lonely. The only person who ever notices me is the server.

(Using the behavior Draw Out: Build on information that has been offered to deepen or extend it)

Yesterday you seemed stone cold even though the wind was shining on your back and the ants were crawling near you. What possibilities can you think of for improving your life? Can you say more about how you feel?

(Using the behavior Clarify Issues: Assist the other in confronting a situation by reflecting important or underlying issues)

From what I’ve observed, it seems that you may be struggling. I just want you to know that I care about you, I’m here for you, and if you need me to move you to anywhere else in the city, I will.

Hoping to hear from you soon.

Love,

The lonely novelist

Try writing back as the rock, using the following Receptive influence behaviors:

• Disclose: Offer information about yourself that is relevant and that costs you something to acknowledge.
• Identify with the Other: State empathetically how the other’s situation could be affecting her or him.
• Draw Out: Build on information that has been offered to deepen or extend it.
• Clarify Issues: Assist the other in confronting a situation by reflecting important or underlying issues.

Happy Valentine’s Day!