Spring 2008

Constructive Debate in 2008?

Death of SocratesDisagreeing Without Being Disagreeable
Grace Boone, Marketing Manager & Newsletter Editor

For many Americans, the election year which—as I write this—is in its eleventh week, already feels like a marathon endeavor. The daily back-and-forth attacks of the primary season may soon be over, but they will be replaced by more intense attacks. It’s safe to assume that election news coverage from now until November will be ugly.

Well, it will be uglier than it has been. In recent years, the vitriol and division of electoral politics has made “playing dirty” the norm and has eroded the spirit of debate and discussion. Gone are the spirited debates of Lincoln and Douglas; we are now a nation of sound bites and talking heads.

In a recent entry on the Barnes & Conti Blog, I wrote of the importance the framers of the U.S. Constitution placed on debate and the need for competing factions. In “The Federalist No. 10,” an essay written to persuade voters to support the Constitution, James Madison wrote:

Liberty is to faction what air is to fire, an aliment without which it instantly expires. But it could not be less folly to abolish liberty, which is essential to political life, because it nourishes faction, than it would be to wish the annihilation of air, which is essential to animal life, because it imparts to fire its destructive agency.

In this statement—and throughout the essay—Madison argues that a diversity of ideas encourages liberty and that a republican form of government prevents any one faction from trampling the rights of others. In other words: We can—and should—disagree without being disagreeable.

And for most of the last 230 years, we have been a nation that disagrees without being disagreeable well, excepting the four years of the Civil War. It is this commitment to enlightened discourse that has helped propel the United States through the trials that would otherwise undo any young nation. Perhaps it is possible that the recent political polarization of the nation could lead to our undoing.

I can’t help but wonder: How would the timbre of the election sound if we went back to discussion and deliberation of issues and brought dignity back to public discourse?

At Barnes & Conti, we call this discussion and deliberation Constructive Debate. Constructive debate is an approach to bring forward new, better ideas by expressing one’s opinions and interests, while engaging the opinions and interests of others. In constructive debate, the goal is not to demolish your opponent’s point of view, but to develop a good argument that is based on facts and logic. A constructive debater will bring up a variety of ideas for consideration, encourage creative and critical thinking, support collaborative exploration of problems and opportunities, provide a vehicle for confronting difficult issues, and offer a means for identifying and developing new ideas.

Constructive debate does not suggest that the different opinions should be quieted. Instead, as Michael Douglas portraying Andy Shephard said in The American President:

America isn’t easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, ’cause it’s gonna put up a fight. It’s gonna say, “You want free speech? Let’s see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who’s standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours.”

This election year provides an opportunity to use conversation about the ideas and people who will best serve the nation in the future. I am hopeful that the partisan, “us-versus-them,” “red state versus blue state” dynamic will fall aside for more productive discussions and real solutions to the challenges facing the U.S. Each of us in the U.S. can play a role in this by VOTING, advocating our interests while listening to the interests of others, and participating in the air that feeds the fire of liberty.

Read the full text of "The Federalist No. 10"

Find out more about Barnes & Conti’s Constructive Debate Program

In this Newsletter

Dealing with Unconstructive Debate Behaviors

B. Kim Barnes
A Barnes & Conti Classic from April 2005

Some of what passes for debate in today’s polarized media sounds rather more like a screaming match or playground name-calling contest. Unfortunately, as more and more people are exposed to this style of (non) communication, some of it has filtered into corporate meeting rooms and teleconferences. You may one day find yourself facing such a situation, and it is best to be prepared. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind:

  1. Keep your cool. Never allow an ad hominem argument or accusation to push your defensiveness buttons, or you may find yourself the focus of a feeding frenzy.
    Example: “What is the concern behind that question?”
  2. Stay rational. Your adversary would prefer to fight the issue on an emotional or polarized basis. Your best offense is to remain perfectly reasonable.
    Example: “That’s an interesting point of view…how did you arrive at that conclusion?”
  3. Ask the other person to clarify his or her position or rationale. Do this calmly but persistently until you think you understand it (even though you don’t agree).
    Example: “What is the basis for that position? Explain your rationale to me.”
  4. Recognize a “trap question” and rephrase it as that person’s opinion rather than answering it.
    Example: “I gather from your question that you disagree with me about…”
  5. Don’t allow yourself to be interrupted before finishing a thought; insist on your airtime.
    Example: “Stop! I’d like to finish my thought, then I’d be interested in hearing your response.”
  6. When you paraphrase the other person’s point, do it in a way that makes the statement sound more reasonable or intelligent than you actually think it is rather than going down the tempting but dangerous path of making that person sound bad, wrong, or stupid.
    Example: “So, from your point of view, you would…do I have that right?”
  7. Don’t allow an inaccurate characterization of your views to stand. Stop the process, if necessary, and correct the person publicly but politely by restating your opinion or idea.
    Example: “No, that is not an accurate reflection of my opinion. I said…”
  8. Look for an opportunity to consider a point the other person is making in a constructive and rational way, even if you still disagree with it.
    Example: “Before you continue, let me make sure I have understood your point. You think…”
  9. Use a presumptive question to learn the strength of the other’s opinion.
    Example: “Are you saying that there are NO circumstances under which you would consider…?”
  10. If the other person does not give you any airtime, interrupt when she or he pauses for breath, but only to paraphrase, in a non-evaluative way, a point the person has made (not to insert your thoughts). Pause for a split-second, then say why you disagree.
    Example: “You’ve made an interesting point about...(pause). Here’s where I disagree…”

Exercising InfluenceCalling All Exercising Influence Trainers:
Training Summit June 5, 2008

Barnes & Conti presents our first-ever training summit, right after the ASTD conference in San Diego this June. Have you wanted a more in-depth look at the latest release of Exercising Influence (version 6.0)? Would you like to network with other certified Exercising Influence trainers? Contact us today to be a part of this first-ever event!

The summit will include:

Please let us know as soon as possible if you want to be on the invitation list.

Contact our event coordinator, Grace Boone, gboone AT barnesconti DOT com

$41 Worth of Influence

Lauren Powers
Barnes & Conti Eastern Regional Director

Today I put my influence skills to work... I fought a $41 parking ticket!

I live in the city and parking tickets are a regular part of my life, something that I like to think of as a charitable contribution for the betterment of the city. Occasionally, however, I get a ticket which I feel justified fighting and today was my hearing.

A while back, our urban neighborhood had one of its many “events” where hundreds of people—along with their cars—drive into the area. This particular event goes on for about one month, so needless to say, it wears us thin. Although there is permit parking for residents, there are absolutely no parking spaces available and much creativity is needed! After an hour of driving around for the 30th consecutive night, I found my spot. So what if one-fourth of my car was in a bus zone? Three-fourths of it was perfectly legal. Given the circumstances of the demand for parking, I felt justified... Unfortunately, the police didn’t think so!

My husband laughed when I told him of my plans this morning to fight the ticket... “Why bother,” he said. “You were parked illegally.” Like pregnancy, there is no such thing as “a little illegal.” But off to traffic court I went.

Much to my surprise I was called in after only a 15 minute wait to meet with the hearing officer... Things were looking good despite the three-way screaming match I had just witnessed between another ticketed resident, the traffic court receptionist, and the security officer.

Upon entering the hearing officer’s office, I noticed a tremendous array of sports paraphernalia. I opened our conversation with a little rapport building through humor and said, “So, I can see you like the ballet.” A little confused at first, he soon laughed. Then, we got down to business.

I mentioned my conversation with my husband that morning and told him how my husband thought I didn’t stand a chance fighting this ticket. After all, I was illegally parked (Attune/Disclose*). I asked him if he had ever attended the annual event in our area (Inquire/Ask Questions*). He said he was familiar with it but never attended. He mentioned that he heard it was a real mob scene and parking was difficult... He then mentioned that he heard several complaints from others. I restated, “So you know how crazy it can get” (Listen/Check Understanding*). He replied, “Of course... your ticket is reversed and I have backed it out of the computer system.” I thanked him and as I was getting up to leave I asked him how he felt about the Super Bowl outcome (Inquire/Ask Questions*). We chatted about the great lessons of the Giants being replayed to kids for many years to come (Enlist/Envision*) despite neither of us being Giants’ fans (Attune/Identify with Other*).

Back at my office, I reflected on this conversation with Kim Barnes. She asked what made my influence attempt successful and I realized it was because I behaved in that moment counter to what my natural inclinations would have been. I stayed on side of Receptive Influence, guiding our brief discussion without ever having to convince the hearing officer of my rightness. What a pleasant experience and again, as I behaviorally dissect it, I am learning from it!

*The asterisk indicates behaviors from the Exercising Influence behavior model.

How Have You Used Your Influence skills?

In a recent blog entry, which is also in this newsletter, Lauren Powers shared how she used her influence skills to avoid a parking ticket (see “$41 Worth of Influence”, above)

How have you used your influence skills?  Email Grace Boone your best influence story. The favorite story, as decided by Barnes & Conti trainers, will appear on our blog, and the winner will receive a $50 American Express gift card.

That email address is gboone AT barnesconti DOT com

What’s New at Barnes & Conti?

Showcases 2008: Collaboration, Leadership,
Innovation, & Problem Solving

During the month of April, Barnes & Conti will be hosting four lunch-time showcases. The showcases feature discussion with our CEO Kim Barnes and other organizational learning leaders, focusing on such areas as problem-solving, collaboration, leadership, and innovation. Lunch is, of course, included.

The dates and locations are:

Each showcase begins at 10:00 am and will end by 2:00 pm

To reserve your space, please go to http://www.barnesconti.com/showcase

Please register soon, as space is very limited!

Managing InnovationKim Barnes and Nelson Soken:
Managing Innovation at ASTD

On June 1, Kim Barnes and Nelson Soken will be presenting “Managing Innovation: A Journey to Organizational Change” at the ASTD International Conference and Expo 2008 in San Diego. This concurrent session will describe how three organizations—a Fortune 100 technology and services company, the administrative staff of a well-known business school, and the claims group of a large insurance company—have used our Managing Innovation  program to address their specific concerns.  Kim and Nelson will show how different applications of the program’s objectives have acted as an intervention and led to significant change within these organizations.

Kim and Nelson will be presenting at 1:45 pm on June 1. We hope you’ll attend their session and visit us at the Expo in booth #1806. 

Events, Trade Shows, and Happenings

ASTD International Conference and Expo
June 2-4,
2008 San Diego, CA

Don't forget our Showcases in April!

Upcoming Public Programs

Managing Innovation

Exercising Influence

Inspirational Leadership

For more information, please contact Grace Boone at gboone AT barnesconti.com

To register for one of our public programs, click here
or go to: www.barnesconti.com/ppsched.php

Featured Recipe:

Spring-y Lemon Cookies
Adapted from Every Day with Rachel Ray, April 2007. By Maile Carpenter.

Lemon CookieGrace Boone submitted this recipe. Grace says that these cookies are a fun, springtime treat and are a great end to the lighter meals we eat as the weather gets better.

Prep Time: 25 min
Bake Time: 15 min

Ingredients:

Method

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line three large cookie sheets with parchment paper; set aside.
  2. In a small bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, salt, and baking powder.
  3. In another bowl, using an electric mixer, cream butter, sugar and lemon zest until fluffy. Mix in the lemon juice and egg. Add the dry ingredients and combine.
  4. Roll heaping teaspoons of dough into balls, then roll in sparkling sugar. Place on the prepared cookie sheets a few inches apart. Bake until golden around the edges, about 15 minutes. Transfer the cookie sheets to racks to cool completely.

Makes three dozen cookies

Just for Fun

Taxing the Limits of Influence

A taxpayer received a strongly worded “second notice” that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector’s office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice.

“Oh,” confided the collector with a smile, “we don’t send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective.”

Green’s Law of Debate:

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

Unconstructive Debate

Two political candidates were having a hot debate. Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at the other, “What about the powerful interest that controls you?”

And the other candidate screamed back, “You leave my husband out of this!”

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