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Peace? Good Will?

B. Kim Barnes

As the season of “peace on earth, good will toward men” begins, we are experiencing far too little of either. We feel helpless, in the grip of global forces over which we have no influence, much less control. We feel angry, yet with no real outlet for those feelings. We grieve for those lost to terrorism in Paris, Beirut, Bamako, San Bernardino, and elsewhere. We grieve as well for the sense of safety in the world we once thought we had. (Although, as someone who grew up in the 1950’s, I well remember “duck and cover” drills in school and the expectation of imminent atomic attack.)

So…what can people of goodwill do when negativity scores political points, fear drives decision-making on many levels, and bad news is used by people of all opinions to prove that they were right all along about “them.”

As individuals, in the spirit of the season, here are a few things we can do that will add some energy on the positive side of things. I’m sure you can think of many more:

• Think back through the past year and the people who did something that helped you or that you admired or appreciated. Then call or write to them and tell them so.
• Invite someone new to a holiday event—someone who isn’t exactly like your friends and family; someone who can bring interestingly different food, experiences, stories, to your table.
• Call a friend or two whom you haven’t seen all year and invite them to join you in an adventure—a photoshoot, a performance, a trail walk…something you’ve never done together before.
• When you hear someone—even someone you love—say something (about a group or individual) that you believe to be wrong, uninformed, or hateful, handle the situation with care. Angry arguments (and we know these can occur at the family holiday table) only tend to drive people deeper into their belief systems. Instead, try something like this:
  • State in a matter-of-fact way that you disagree, but are interested in knowing why they feel that way.
  • Ask nonjudgmental questions, such as: “What are you most concerned about?” “What have you experienced that leads you to that conclusion?”
  • Listen actively to their responses. Seek to understand the needs, worries, and fears that underlie their position.
  • Summarize what you heard in a neutral way, thank the person for being so open with you, and say that you still disagree, but understand better why they feel as they do.
• Before you make your end-of-year charitable gifts, reflect on your own values and what you believe will create a better world. Are the nonprofits you usually give to (and that have been bombarding you with direct mail, e-mail messages and those dreaded phone calls) the most aligned with what you believe in? Are there more effective organizations that could use your support? Check out Charity Navigator or similar websites to learn about excellent nonprofits whose work you might like to contribute to.
• And every day, look for an opportunity to sow the seeds of human kindness in small or large ways. In this way, we can contribute to the growth of positive energy in the world—and the world needs, as it always has, a lot of that.

Optimists or pessimists, religious or not, regardless of our political persuasion, we need to take the long view and believe that love can overcome hate. Happy holidays.

Exercising Influence:
3rd Edition

If you're interested in a fresh perspective on achieving results through the actions and support of others, check out the 3rd edition of Kim Barnes' book, Exercising Influence, A Guide for Making Things Happen At Work, At Home, and In Your Community.

Readers are saying:

“The shortest route to effective influence”

“Puts great tools in context”

“The most useful guide for developing influence skills today”

Here's a YouTube video introduction.

Order the book on Amazon

Reflecting on 2015...

Lauren Powers, SVP, Business Development

2015 has been a productive year for Barnes & Conti. Many organizations are once again investing in learning and development initiatives. After what felt like a bit of a lull, many of our clients are committing to important development projects. Some have returned after taking a bit of a hiatus. …welcome back! And we are delighted that a number of new clients from the pharmaceutical, biotech, technology, financial services, manufacturing, non-profit, government, and medical device industries have joined the Barnes & Conti family!

This past year, our clients and partners have challenged us to continue to create and innovate. We’ve made significant progress in updating our innovation, risk-taking, problem-solving, and internal consulting programs—and the work continues. We’ve upped our technology game with our new interactive Exercising Influence Virtual Classroom as well as an e-learning module. We’ve worked on making our processes more responsive to customers and we will keep working on how we can best meet their needs. We have developed deeper partnerships with many of our clients through collaborating on large initiatives, learning from one another throughout the process. Our global reach continues to expand as we join with our global partners and our talented and diverse network of facilitators to meet the needs of large, multinational organizations.

What have we learned along the way?

• Business runs in cycles, so remain patient.
• The learning and development community is a pretty special collection of talented, kind and generous people; treasure the relationships…they are life-long!
• Organizations are more complex than ever before and the decision process is increasingly complicated; work to be as supportive to clients as possible and eventually it will all work out.
• Remain flexible and watch those assumptions; there are a lot of stakeholder needs that reveal themselves slowly over time.
• Challenge yourself and others to learn; the ride may be a little bumpy with lots of twists and turns, but that’s what makes it fun!
• Work with people as true partners; be authentic, transparent and committed.

Wishing you all a very happy holiday season and looking forward to learning from you next year!

New for 2016

We’re ringing in the New Year with several new or updated programs.

• Exercising Influence: The Virtual Classroom. We’ve developed a highly interactive two-session web seminar that can be used either as an introduction followed by a face-to-face skill practice day or as a stand-alone program with fieldwork between the sessions.
• Exercising Influence: E-Learning Module. This brief, interactive, self-paced module can be used as an introduction to a live session or as an executive briefing.
• Four of our programs have been extensively updated for next year: Managing Innovation, The Art of Communication, Consulting on the Inside, and Puzzles, Mysteries, and Muddles.

Click here for information

Be More Like the Grinch than Santa this Holiday Season

by Leila Bulling Towne

Note: Leila Bulling Towne is an executive coach in San Francisco Bay area. She is also a friend and colleague of Barnes & Conti's. Below is the email summary of her wonderfully practical article for celebrating the holidays in the work place.

Hello,

I just got a call from the Grinch, and he is irritated that so many people lounge around this month. They don’t just join in the holiday spirit—they are the holiday spirit.

I told the Grinch to take a chill pill and that I’d handle it from here: no slacking on being a great leader in December. I have five ways to channel the Grinch’s critical nature and marry it with the jovial spirit of Santa.

1. No (or maybe just one) cocktail for you.
2. Wrap things up—but nothing shiny and new.
3. Don’t give presents but foot the bill.
4. Get the protocol right—“Merry Christmas” doesn’t belong on the cup.
5. Expect people to be checked out—and remind them that’s what PTO is for.

Please read the entire article on Leila's blog!

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In this Issue:

• “Peace? Good Will?”
  by B. Kim Barnes
• Exercising Influence Book: 3rd Edition
• “Reflecting on 2015,” by Lauren Powers
• New for 2016!
• “Be More Like the Grinch than Santa this Holiday Season” by Leila Bulling Towne
  
• Featured Art (above): “Dove of Peace,” by Pablo Picasso
• Barnes & Conti Virtual Feast (See below)
• Bassoon for the Holidays! (See below)

Barnes & Conti Virtual Feast 2015

The Barnes & Conti Virtual Feast is now a 15 year-old tradition. Along with our holiday potluck, we started sharing favorite holiday recipes with our friends, colleagues, partners, and customers (some of you fit in several or all of those categories!) The virtual feast has become so popular, that we continue making the virtual feast the centerpiece of our holiday newsletter.

Recipes in this Year's Feast

Lemon Blueberry Fluffy Buttermilk Pancakes
Elaine Turcotte, our Operations Manager, makes these pancakes, which are perfect for a holiday brunch.

Figs with Prosciutto and Goat Cheese
Lauren Powers, Senior VP of Business Development, contributed this luscious hors-d’oeuvre.

Clams Oregano
Another tantalizing appetizer or party dish from the family recipes of Lauren Powers.

Lamb Loin with Olives and Sun-Dried Tomatoes
A Barnes & Conti classic recipe from a past newsletter, this main dish from Kim Barnes is a quick and easy alternative to traditional fare.

Grandma Rose’s Latkes or Potato Kugel
Senior VP of Business Development, Lauren Powers, contributed another family favorite from her grandmother’s repertoire.

Fried Brussels Sprout Leaves with Lemon and Crème Fraiche
Kim Barnes contributed this unusual yet festive recipe for a popular winter vegetable

Pear Jello Holiday Salad
Bette Krakau contributed the family recipe for this nostalgic classic from the 1950s and 1960s.

June’s Lemon Bars Janne Rochlin, VP of Program Delivery & Development, contributed her mother’s rendition of this dessert.

Bassoon for the Holidays!

Former Barnes & Conti tech guy Joel Kleinbaum (who still edits and designs the holiday newsletter), moonlights as a freelance bassoonist in Portland, Oregon.

We thought it would be a bit of a treat to share some of Joel's music with our readers.

For Beethoven's birthday, December 16: Adagio from Beethoven's Sextet Op. 71

For Winter: Andante from Vivaldi in A minor

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